cravating | (no subject)

[I mean... he wouldn't turn it down. What? No. Definitely not thinking about that.]

Seriously, though. Do you like it there?

Yeah I do. It's pretty interesting. Loads to do, and there's even a really nice fucking piano here. I get to travel too, I went to New York

You should record something and send it to me.

[He misses it.]

How was New York? There's talk of a show I could do there next year but Simon doesn't know if he could go. I sort of always imagined doing something like that with someone else, you know?

You don't want to hear my shit, you had 3 years of it. Oh yeah it was amazing. Not much time for tourist shit though. And seriously? That's fucking incredible. You're going places. And tell him to make time.

Shut up. I always want to hear your shit. Just send me something.

[He misses sitting around and listening to him practice.]

Yeah, I submitted a few pieces for them to look at but I didn't think they'd actually be interested.

He's got a normal job with normal hours. He can't just leave the country on a whim.

Edited 2015-11-15 06:20 (UTC)

Yeah well tell him to take normal time off then. Like normal people do.

[ and he'll also attatch a little audio clip of him tinkling away on the piano, because he records himself for practising purposes. ]

handel.mp3

[Instantly opening that up to play as he travels towards the gallery. He can't help but smile...and also be a little sad. He types out 'I miss you' but erases it and lets out a little huff.]

It's not always that easy. He's just getting started. Needs to make a good impression on his boss.

[Parroting back Simon's excuses tbh]

Maybe your job will put you there around that time and we could meet up.

[ It makes him sort of angry, and he doesn't really know why, but then anger is something he does only too well. But Nate deserves better. Even if Simon is probably better than he'll give him credit for. He doubts he'd like it if he knew Nate was texting him. ]

Maybe yeah. Work can be a bit up and down so never sure where we're going to be.

[ he hesitates before writing the next bit ]

But I could pop in for a pint sooner.

Yeah? I'd love that.

[Fuck. No. Too eager.]

Just let me know whenever you can get away.

[ He doesn't know why he still likes him. Why he doesn't just tell him to fuck off after everything that he did. He'd deserve it, he knows. He knows how some of his old friendship group would feel too if they knew, and he deserves all that too.

There's more hesitation before he texts again. ]

We're actually just outside London. So whenever.

Wait seriously?

[He knows it doesn't make sense. Logically, he knows that there's a lot of things he should be saying to Matt that aren't 'hey come have a drink with me.' But he can't. He knows too much about the way Matt was raised, about the shit that's in his head about what you should and shouldn't do.

And also he's still fucked up in love with the bastard. Being with Simon is great and it's not that Nate doesn't care about him, but its not at all the same.

Like how just knowing Matt is that close makes his heart start to race.]

Yeah. The offices are sort of secret but I could be in central pretty easy. So just say when and I'll be there if I can.

[ He's drawn to him, he knows, and he shouldn't be, especially now he knows why. ]

We can catch up on some shit. You can tell me if Simon wears that little lawyer wig in bed.

[The offices are secret?? What does that mean? He doesn't actually care, not when he's realizing they could really see one another. Soon.]

What about tonight? After the show? To either celebrate or help me get over it being a disaster.

[ He hesitates over his phone, unsure. He wants to see him, of course he does, but it's... messy. Still though... ]

Yeah I can probably manage that. But it's the celebration yeah? You're going to be amazing, mate.

Thanks. Hope so. Well I'm actually here and things are getting started. So just let me know what bar you end up at and I'll head that way when I'm done here.

[He's more nervous about seeing Matt than about the show now. Well that's one way to get over his professional nerves.]

[ He shouldn't go in. He shouldn't. He should put a healthy distance between them. But the difference is of course he really is his best friend, even without all that shit in the way. He misses him, he wants to see him. He probably shouldn't head to a bar on his own. If he gets nervous he knows he'll drink, and probably too much. He almost wonders if he should go and get someone to go with him, but that would be weird as fuck. So he doesn't, he just goes alone, and heads to a decent pub, ordering a pint. He's on his second when he texts. ]

I'm in the Fox in Shoreditch if you want to come over.

Just finishing up here. Order me a drink, would you?

[He gets there as fast as he can, but with networking and all that, it's about 25 minutes before he walks through the door, glancing around, trying to catch sight of Matt.]

[ When he walks in, Matt is over at a corner table away from the bar. He's sitting, leaning back and poking at his phone with half a drunk pint in front of him, and next to that a light lager that he knows Nate likes to drink.

Matt is looking a little 3-days-stubble, and with a tshirt that looks like it's seen better days. Somehow he pulls it off. He waits for Nate, and glances up, just catching sight of him. He lifts a hand. ]

Hey.

[Nate's eyes sweep the room until he sees Matt. God, how long has it been? Doesn't matter, really, but it's surreal as hell to see him sitting at a table with a pint, waiting for him.

Reminds him of how things used to be.]

Hey. [He approaches with a nervous smile, unbuttoning his pea coat and shrugging it off so he can drape it over his chair. He runs a hand through his hair, suddenly very aware of the length now that Matt's brought it up.]

Sorry to keep you waiting. Got held up talking to the head of another gallery.

[ Christ but it's good to see him. He's looking great, really great actually. Keeping well, and that hair looks even better in person. Still though, he can remember how it looked when there was blood in it, when he'd caused that. He can still see it when he looks at him, see his face swollen and hear him trying to get through to him. ]

Oh yeah? Went well then? Fucking told you it would, didn't I?

Really well, actually. Got some buyers interested in adding some stuff to their personal collections. Got a few contact numbers of people who want to see some newer stuff before it goes to shows like these. You know the sort- trying to get it cheap just in case I make it big.

[He laughs lightly and reaches for his beer, wrapping his hands around the glass but not lifting it from the table yet.]

How've you been? You look good, mate.

[Really good. Uncomfortably good. He hates that he still thinks like this, even after everything, even when he's very committed to a wonderful man.

A man he wasn't exactly honest with about what he's currently doing with his evening.]

[ He laughs and shakes his head. ]

Fucking charlatans. You make them pay higher, you hear me? Don't let them get away with an original for anything less than top price. And thanks, yeah, not bad. I mean pretty good really. This gig is pretty cool. Not really what I expected but better than mopping up old beer and getting the drunks home, right?

[He just ducks his head and laughs, nodding like yeah totally going to charge them top price. Except no. He's just glad to be selling them.]

So what is it you're doing anyway?

I don't think I'm supposed to talk about it.

[ He looks from left to right, as though he thinks someone might be watching idek ]

But it's cool. I mean, really cool. You know the place is pretty big, I bet we could buy some of your art for the walls. Just not the really weird shit, yeah?

What? [He looks amused and baffled by that answer.] Are you some sort of spy or something?