But I need to apologise. I need to, Nate. You know I still see you there, on the ground. And you know it didn't matter what you said, how many times you asked me to stop, it was like I couldn't hear you, you know. Like I couldn't see straight. And then you stopped, and you weren't saying nothing, and it snapped like I- I realised and you were there and bleeding and and--

[ as he speaks he's getting more and more worked up, and no, no he's sure Nate doesn't want a reminder of all of this, he should shut up, but he can't, tears in his eyes as he breathes out a shaky breath ].

I tried to to let them let me go with you but they wouldn't. They wouldn't even tell me if you were alive.